Pretending in the Hallway

I decided to pull out some of the stuff I wrote in high school, and see if any of it was worthwhile.  I’ll post the first piece for you, and let you decided.  I have done my best to edit as much of the teenage angst out of it, but the damn shite won’t come out.  It certainly did make me laugh though. 

Pretending in the Hallway.

   I can see him at the end of the hallway.  I don’t have to see his face to know its him.  The sway of his silhouette as he struts and swaggers in my direction, gives me a clue to his identity. 
   I am standing there, waiting for the elevator, which has gotten lost on its way, and pretend he is not there. I stare at the paperwork I cradle in my arms, as though I am deep in thought. I pretend I am working, when I am not. I can feel his eyes on me as he silently passes me.  I want to look up at him and see if he says anything to me, if he dares to say anything to me as he walks by me, but I don’t. I fear that if I do look up, he won’t say anything, I won’t be able to avoid the verbal vomit I could already feel rising in my throat. The temptation to block his path and scream : ‘I’m sorry! Please forgive me.’ is so great.
   I stay to my spot, waiting for the lost elevator, staring at the papers, pretending to work when I’m not.
   Its funny how much people pretend; he and I used to be friends. We knew things about each other that others didn’t. We had secrets, but none of that matters anymore.  We pretend not to know each other’s names now. I pretended that he was every person who had hurt me.  I pretended that he was every person who had seduced me. I seduced him like every one else had seduced me. I seduced him like life had seduced me.  I wish I could pretend that night never happened, but my mind won’t let that happen.  Sometimes I wish I could turn that anger and guilt I feel towards myself and turn it against him.  But I can’t.  I wish I could pull a gun out of my back pocket and watch the shocked look on his face as the bullet plunges into his chest. But I can’t. I wish I could slit his throat and watch his face turn the colour of ash as his blood spills down his front, washing away any of my feelings away with it, but I know that won’t make the guilt go away that easily. 
   There is nothing I can do to make this better.  And so, I stare at the papers, and pretend I am fine. 


A Pot to Piss in and a Bucket of Lists

A Pot to Piss in and a Bucket of Lists
Everyone has a bucket list (Thank you Morgan Freeman!)  I think my list is pretty simple, nothing insane on it like these things, but things that fit me, my lifestyle, and things that are dear to me.
1. Own Income Property. The first item on my list is one that I have been working on since the first year we bought our house.  My husband and I are working on paying our house off early.  When we first bought our house 3 years ago, I was pregnant and agreed to sign a 35 year mortgage. (I was worried about having money, and the lower bi-weekly payments eased my pregnant mind.) Knowing now what a mistake that was, one of the conditions of our mortgage is that we can pay extra money on our principal, which I do.  So far in 3 years, we’ve knocked 12 years off that mortgage.  Our ultimate goal is to have it paid in 15 years or less.
What does my current mortgage have to do with income properties? Well, once we’ve paid our first mortgage off, we plan to continue to put the same amount into the bank each month as though we still had that mortgage, and after 2 years, use that money to start buying income properties.  And once that building is close to being paid off, we’ll again use profits saved to buy more.  Not a get rich scheme, but one slowly built.  (My oldest will be finished high school at that point, and probably hopefully might be in college or university then.
2. Retire Early.  I think this is the goal of most people. Who wants to work for ‘The Man’ till the day you die?  Currently with my current retirement saving plan, I am on schedule to retire by the age of 65.  However, amy goal is 55.  And if our plan for income properties works out, that should happen.  Just 10834 more days till then.  :S
3. A Successful Blog.  Well, I guess I have started that as well.  I did have a regular reader base in the age of Geo Cities and My Space, but life and expired memberships killed that. So, here I am again, starting new, with so far 2 readers (Thank you, Dave and Jamie). My goal is to have a successful blog with interesting ‘stuff’, reasearched articles, contests for my reader base, long comment sections , and an impact on others lives.  How am I doing so far?  Everyone full of soup?
4. Have something published.  In my Pre marriage/Kids/Crazy @ Work days, I wrote a lot.  I have most of a book written, poetry, short stories, essays completed… And its all hidden away in a desk drawer for NO ONE to see.  I’d like to one day have SOMEONE read these and have them published.  Maybe I should start with posting some of my short stories on here.  Would that count as being published?
5. Play in a Band. I played in one in high school, but we never did anything of any significance.  After seeing Jonny Lang and Buddy Guy however, this desire is more intense.  I think my biggest obstacle might be my husband, truthfully.  He very much wants to as well, but sadly our music tastes and talents are in much different directions from each other.  My girlfriend Arlene and I have joked talked about it, but that is as far as it gets.  In order for this to happen, however, I need to start playing again, which brings me to…
6. Learn to play one instrument well.  I know how to play a bit of guitar, a bit of piano, I can carry a tune (and not make people cringe), a bit of trumpet, and I was decent on the saxophone. The only instrument I feel I was ever really good as was the flute, and I had little desire to excel at it.  So little in fact, that most people didn’t even know I played it, like it was a secret.  Maybe instead of signing up for that free sociology class, I should into music lessons.
7.   Complete a marathon.  I don’t know which one yet, but I’d like to say I did one.  There are some really cool ones out there.
8. Go on a World Vision Trip.  Its a big world out there, and I want to see it all.
Did I miss anything?

Halia’s Noodle Soup

I had planned on blogging about my current progress on the Reverse 100 Thing Challenge (I am qiite proud of what I have accomplished in just one day) however since my oldest is home sick from school today, I felt it was more suiting to post the recipe about her favourite soup. 
And when I say favourite, I really mean the only one she’ll eat with out complaint.  Halia helped me come up with the initial idea of it, and we have tweaked it till its just right.  Its full of ingredients I usually have in the pantry, so its something that can easily be whipped up on a cool day when you just don’t feel like yourself. 
I love and encourage cooking with kids.  Of course there is the whole ‘learning to cook’ aspect of it, but there is so much more to the experience. 
There math and fractions involved.  I let the girls make a mess and measure out the ingredients themselves. 
There is science and experimenting involved.  I let them taste test along the way and let them concoct their own flavours, and soup is the perfect way to experiement since you can’t really go too far wrong with it.
There is an independance that is learned from knowing you can do something grown up for yourself. 
And sometimes, when its a recipe you all know by heart, there is just a simple bonding that takes place over food, and a honesty that happens when people cook together. 

Halia’s Noodle Soup
3 cups tomato juice
4 cups vegetable broth
1 onion, chopped, browned in olive oil
1 cup frozen corn
1 cup frozen peas
1 cup frozen green beans
1 large carrot, sliced thin
1 tbs garlic powder
1/2 cup nutrional yeast
1 tsp thyme
1 tsp oregano
1 cup chopped spinach
2 cups broad egg noodles
Put all ingredient except spinach and noodles in slow cooker until carrots are cooked. (About 2 hours on high)  Add spinach and noodles until noodles are cooked. (About 20 minutes.)

Yes, I know egg noodles are not vegan, but sadly I have yet to find a substitute for them just yet.  Other pasta either just doesn’t cook quite right or just turns to mush in the slow cooker. 
We have substituted with other veggies depending on what we have had on hand, both fresh and frozen, with great results, but the above list is what we keep coming back to and usually a pantry/freezer staple in this house. 
I hope you give it a try and tell me what your thoughts were or even better, how you experimented with it. 
Soups on!

Hello world!

Its been a long time since I’ve had a blog; so long in fact that its been torn down due to non use (and silly me didn’t back up any of my posts. There was some good shit on there. No… Really!)
This blog was started because my husband was surprised that I used to write and blog (5 years of marriage, and it hadn’t come up before?) and since its on my bucket list to have a blog that is read by someone other than one friend (I’m looking at you, Dave!) I figure I better get started now.
When I used to write, the best method I found to get started was to just start to write, and eventually the purpose of the writing would reveal itself.
Not that I wish to disclose my age, but when I used to write, pen and paper were still the common starting ground. And not just because I like vintage things.
I haven’t decided what the theme or purpose of my blog will be yet, but I like to get to places through a bit of floundering anyways, so I’m sure that will come. I suppose it should be about something I’m good at, something I’m passionate about, something someone will want to read about…
Well… Shit… What the hell is that?